I feel the same way. I’m in college right now and haven’t even tried applying for internships. I’m entering my third year and am just too anxious from my inaction and my anxiety is causing my inaction. I honestly have no idea how to achieve my career goals besides interning and getting certifications. I feel like my university’s computer science program which I’m entrenched into is not preparing me for any of this. It’s been years since I programmed anything and I feel like a wet sausage sliding into mute failure. Not good, not bad. I don’t even know what the reward for doing anything is and haven’t for a long time. I just feel anxiety and confusion and want to be a network engineer but don’t know the right words to say to the right people at the right time. An analogy is like being an egg forced to become a chick by the time you are laid by the chicken. If you aren’t by then, you crack open and spill everywhere and have wasted all of your time.