A good day, I think. My wife’s best friend came over and the dogs love her. She sorta moved in with us, but she’s been crashing elsewhere the last week, so they’ve really missed her.
The dogs had their nails done, which is usually an ordeal. They are freaked out by the click of the clippers, and usually don’t like to be kept still while having their nails clipped.
Our anxious one was given trazodone, and then they’re snuggled on the couch with treats (my job) while my wife cleans their feet and trims their nails. Our non-anxious dog has hyperkeratosis and ingrown/impacted hairs around her paw pads, which both require extra maintenance.
Suffice to say, the dogs are not fans of nail grooming day.
Recently we started using this electric nail file thing my wife got for shaping press on nails. It’s like the Dremel pet nail file device, but smaller and with way less power. It doesn’t make nearly as much noise, and goes slower taking off bits of nail. The Dremel also freaks out the dogs (at least - the older one. We never attempted with the younger/more anxious one). It’s been a great experiment so far. Because their nails are too long/they’re awkward about clipping them, it’s hard to maintain the steady progress needed to get their cuticles to retract. For the second week in a row, we’ve managed to give them nicely rounded (no jagged edges from the clipper) nails that are slowly getting shorter. In about a month, if we can keep this up, we might be able to drop the frequency and still keep them at “fresh from the groomer” nail lengths.
This is a game changer for our anxious dog. He’s got black nails with long cuticles that are a real challenge to deal with using clippers. It’s hard to see the quick when he’s all wiggly and anxious - accidents do happen. He’s so much calmer with the little file. Between treats and his happy hoodie, he only let out a few grumbles this time — because he wanted to lick off the foot balm!
I’m not part of this argument, but the inability to give or receive good faith criticism of any characterization is a hallmark of poor communication skills and/or mistrusting the intent of each other. In my professional life, I have encountered maybe 3 people who could not give or receive criticism that had made it beyond a year or two into a creative profession. They all did grievous injury to the workplace in terms of morale and work quality. Two of them were at the same place, which ceased creating new content after I left. They merely squat on their existing IP now while other parts of the business prosper. In my current workplace, an entrenched designer is so toxic at receiving feedback that people simply do not work with them. Leadership keeps hiring people with overlapping skill sets to ever-reduce this person’s scope of responsibility. (The designer in question has actually gone so far as to bully away multiple managers, and has secretly recorded conversations after antagonizing colleagues to later threaten HR with legal action.)
Anyway, enough of that. A question.
If you cannot preserve something as strong as a 30-year marriage with how feedback is expressed (or received) - then how do you create good work with people who don’t love you and could go elsewhere?
I have a great creative relationship with the people I work with. My wife is a designer, and I still freelance. We collaborate both professionally and informally quite often on our respective (and occasional joint) projects without strife — even when we disagree.