I want the Start Menu on my printers touch screen.

lol, I have 3 computers and each one is less than 2 years old.

Don’t defend the megacorp with a history of shitty software. It’s just a bad look, dude.

So every time I click the start menu and there’s a noticeable lag before the menu comes up isn’t just me overreacting?

Most ISPs (especially smaller ones it seems) just run a basic DHCP server with leases expiring at a set interval. As long as your stuff is on and working when the lease renews, you’ll pull the same IP forever.