I’ve been in this weird headspace lately where life is just… strange. On the surface, everything is fine. I go to work, eat relatively healthy, try to stay on top of errands, keep things running — the usual. But underneath it all, there’s this constant feeling of dull pressure, like I’m being stretched thin by things that don’t really matter. It’s like I’m always busy, but rarely present.
Every day feels packed, but nothing sticks. I go through the motions, check off tasks, scroll a bit, eat, sleep, repeat. I end the day drained, like I ran a marathon in my head — but can’t really remember anything meaningful that happened. It’s not burnout in the dramatic sense, just this low-grade hum of tiredness and disconnection that never really turns off.
Socially, things have gotten quieter too. I barely see my friends anymore. Most of them are still into drinking and going out — stuff that used to feel exciting but now just feels… loud and repetitive. There was no big falling out. Just different rhythms now. Slower ones. And sometimes I sit with that and wonder if it’s just part of growing up, or if something deeper got lost along the way.
And then my brain starts spinning, usually late at night, when everything’s quiet. I start thinking about the future — and it honestly kind of scares me. Not in a dramatic, apocalyptic way, but in that creeping “things-are-moving-too-fast” way. AI is suddenly everywhere. Wars are happening in the background of our everyday lives. Economies feel fragile. Everything seems more unstable than it used to be, like we’re just pretending things are normal while the ground shifts under us.
And weirdly, my mind keeps drifting back to 2006. I don’t even know why exactly — maybe because it felt slower. Simpler. The internet was just fun and weird, not all-consuming. There were fewer screens, fewer existential threats in the news feed. Boredom existed, but it didn’t feel dangerous — it felt open. It felt like space to breathe. Now everything feels compressed, even rest.
I don’t think I’m depressed. I’m not miserable. But I feel… detached. Like I’m watching my life from the outside, waiting for it to feel like mine again. There’s this quiet emptiness running underneath everything, like background static. Not loud enough to break me, just enough to make everything feel slightly out of tune.
Anyone else feel like this? Have you figured out how to shake it — or at least live with it in a way that makes sense?
This is such a basic ass answer, but my recommendation would be to unplug, go outside, and read philosophy. Read Camus, read Sartre. Read existentialists in general. They talk about these things and come to interesting conclusions. Life is absurd. And it’s even more absurd than it’s ever been. The answer to that absurdity lies in your own personal meaning. Because life goes on whether you languish in it or attempt to find beauty in the monotony.
Another basic ass answer: It’s capitalism. Capitalism stole the meaning from your life to create profit for shareholders. It took the meaning from your life by telling you what job you have determines what you are. How long were we conditioned to attach our value as people to “what we want to be when we grow up.” Life feels meaningless because that deep conditioning is completely at odds with how we actually feel as people.
Another way you can start finding meaning is to find meaning in fighting against that. Find a job that you can ignore so you can live your life when you’re not working. Especially in the US we live to work. That creates this dissonance inside you because that’s fucking absurd. But it’s the kind of absurdity that should breed anger and resentment at the system, and those feelings should get translated into righteous action against these systems of exploitation and control. Find joy and immediacy in sabotaging ads conditioned to make us feel inferior. In doing anything that gives the finger to these twisted injustices.
There are a lot of ways to buck this feeling of joyless monotony. And the best way is to try to create something better, for yourself and for others. We are pushed to waste our “free” time consuming and producing. We are pushed to turn our hobbies and creativity into a “hustle.” Start revolting against these ideas in your everyday life and I think you will start to find a lot more meaning and joy. It’s scary, but a placid safety will while away your life and leave you feeling empty. Dangerous freedom will make you finally feel alive.